Kiun Hay...?

ACHIEVERS...

People says, "Success knocks your door only once."

But the ACHIEVERS says, "Knock the door of success until success opens the door."

Honeymooners....and the suitcases!

A new Bride was a bit embarrassed to knows as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.

He responded, "Sure, You carry the suitcases!" 

Wife....

A man received a message from his neighbor, "Sorry sir i'm using your Wife, i'm using day & night, i'm using when you are not present at home. Infact i'm using more than you are using. I confess this because now I feel very much guilt. Hope you will accept my sincere apology".

Man picked up his gun and shot his wife.

Few minutes later he received another message "Sorry sir typing mistake its not WIFE it's WIFI....."

KHUSH NASEEB KON

Girl Najoomi Se: Mere yeh saal kaisa guzre ga?

Najoomi: Es Saal tumhari shadi ho gi.

Girl: Mere do rishtay ay hain. Ek mamu ke betay ka aur doosra chachu ke betay kapata nahi kon Khush Naseeb ho ga.

Najoomi: Mamu ka beta khush naseeb ho ga........aur tumhari shadi chachu ke betay se ho gi!!!

All men are same...

The woman who invented the phrase, "All men are same." was a chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd in China!

7 Trillion nerves and women

Human body has 7 trillion nerves and women know how to get on every single one of them....

Men are always happy creatures...

Men are always happy creatures. Why?

-PHONE conversations cost for just  2 minutes

-A five days vacation requires only 1 jeans

-If someone forgets to invite them, they can still be friends

-The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades

-They can do shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes

-They don't freak out when they go to a party & see another man wearing same shirt or tie, instead they become buddies

- They laugh before an exam and also laugh after exams without worries

-They can live in all circumstances

Share this to women who can DIGEST it, and to men who'll enjoy reading it...!

Capital of Pakistan........????

Teacher: "Where is the CAPITAL OF PAKISTAN?"

A student replied, "In Swiss Banks......"

lolz!

Maths.........

Maths is the only place where I hear people doing ridiculous things....e.g.

Ashraf had 300 kababs, he ate 230. What does he have now?
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LOOSE Motion I think...!

An angry girl and her laptop...

An angry girl went to an electronics shop and threw her new laptop on the desk at a person from whom she bought.

She told the salesman that you have cheated me. I can not transfer file to my previous laptop.

Salesman: Madam, can you please try in front of me?

This is what she did:

1. Right clicked the mouse on the file which she wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2. Disconnected the mouse from that laptop.

3. Took the mouse carefully then connected it to her previous laptop.

4. Thus after connecting the mouse she clicks the paste button and no action performed!

Salesman died....!

LOLZ....

bank...

GF called her bf..

GF: Honey where are you?

BF: I'm at the bank.

GF: Oh dear..I need 10000 to do my hair treatment and 30000 to buy few dresses...

BF: Sorry, janu I meant I was at the bank of a river...Machli chahhiye tumko machli...I mean fish?

whatever you like & whatever you get

An inspiring thought:

"Always try your best to get whatever you like...Otherwise you will be forced to like whatever you get...!"

Why I hate C.I.D.

An example

Girl: Rahul mera bhai tha....

Daya: Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa? Rahul tumhara bhai tha??????????????

Girl: Haan...Rahul mera bhai tha....

Freddy: Rahul sach mein tumhara bhai tha?

Girl: Haan sir wo mera bhai tha.......

Abhijeet: Iska matlab hai..........

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Tum Rahul ki behan ho..........

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ACP: Achaaaaaaaaa.....ab main samjha......
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Tum aur Rahul behan bhai ho.............!!!

How Pakistanis are easy to identify...

1: Cook everything in Garlic & Onion...

2: Re-use gift papers...

3: Always arrive late in a party...

4: Children have rhyming names...

5: Talk for half an hour at the gate when leaving...

6: Never use measure cups while cooking...

7: Take medicines without doctor's prescription...

8: Lay bed sheets on sofas to keep them clean...

9: Cover everything with plastic even if its a remote control...!


Enjoy being Pakistani....................!

Dad and Mobile Phone

Dad: Give me your mobile phone for a minute.

Son: Wait dad let me switch it on.

G.F. pic: delete
Private video: delete
Girls # list: delete
Phone calls received: delete
-delete
-delete
-delete
Memory card : format

Son: Here you go.

Dad: thanks! I just want to see time....!!!!!!!

Son: OPPPSSSSSSSSSS

Who's the Boss....???

When the body was made all parts wanted to be Boss.

Brain: I should be boss coz I control the whole body responses...

Feet: We should be the boss, We carry the brain...

Hands: We should be the boss coz we do all work and earn money...

And so it went on and on with the heart, lungs, eyes till finally the Asshole spoke. All parts laughed at the idea of Asshole being the boss....

So the Asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work...!

Within a short time eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, feet twitched, heart and lungs began to panic and brain started to shut...!

Eventually they all decided that the Asshole should be the BOSS so the motion was passed and now All parts work while the Boss just sits and passes out the shit...!


Moral: You don't need brain to be the Boss. Any Asshole can be a BOSS........!!!!!

A barber shop...

In England, a barber shop had a customer who was a soldier. After haircut he tried to give money.

Barber said: You fight for people of UK I won't take money from you.

Next day he found some flowers outside his shop.

Then a doctor came, again the barber didn't take money  & said: You help ill people of UK I won't take money from you.

Next day he found expensive clothing outside his shop.

Then a Pakistani came, barber didn't take money & said: You are our visitor I won't take money from you.

Next day............

There were ten Pakistanis waiting in line outside his shop...............!!!

Proof of extra work done...!

The amount of money in your bank account at the time of your death is the proof of extra work you did which was not necessary...!!!

WORK-SHOP

Marriage is like a Workshop???


Where the Husband Works

and

The Wife Shops....