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Tuesday 31 January 2012

US Economy...

US Economy:

Investment Analyst and Entrepreneur Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin with the following:

"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline, it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetable, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car, it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American Economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on Prostitutes and Bear, since these are the only products still produced in USA."

An Essay on Wife...

University Exam:

Q: Write an essay on WIFE.

(A married student wrote one liner essay & got full marks.)

The answer was:


"She has a PROBLEM for every SOLUTION."

Monday 30 January 2012

Are you an Idiot???????????

A man calls up Prime Minister House and says: "I want to be the next Prime Minister of Pakistan...."

Operator: "Are you an idiot?"

Man: "Is it compulsory...?????????????"

Teru Reltionship...

Yuo konw waht is Rael Reltionship?

I'm gving yuo an exmpl:

Jsut c tihs msg. Evrey splleing of tihs msg is wrnog but sitll yuo can raed it wihtuot ayn mitsake....

If yuo vant true reltionship jsut igonr mitsake of ohters...

Friends and 26 Alphabets

Question paper of a 5th class boy.

Write an essay about your friends in 200 words. Given time half an hour.

A boy finished the paper in first minute...

He just wrote one sentence...but he got full marks...

That one sentence was..

"Any combination of 26 alphabets will never express my friends."

Thursday 26 January 2012

Pretty Ugly....!!!

GF: Am I Pretty or Ugly?
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BF: You are both...!
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GF: What do you mean both...???
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BF: You are "Pretty Ugly"...!!!

A Beautiful Girl & Beautiful Future

A beautiful girl can't give you a beautiful future BUT beautiful future can give you many beautiful Girls.....(HITLER)

Jitna Zalim tha baat us se bhi zalim kar gaya...!

Tuesday 24 January 2012

Friend is like a pencil color...

Friend is like a pencil color.

May be I'm not your favorite color ...

BUT

I hope you will need me somewhere to complete your drawing...!!!

Monday 23 January 2012

Khubsurti aur Rotiyan

Biwi kitchen mein se boli: "Sunte ho main din ba din khubsurat hoti ja rahi hoon..."

Shohar: "Acha, wo kaise?"

Biwi: "Ab to mujh se Rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hain...!!!"

The reality of Life...

You love someone & you marry someone else. The one you marry becomes your life partner and the one you love becomes the password of you email ID...!

LOLZ!

Sunday 22 January 2012

People wanted me to be punctual...

People wanted me to be punctual, when I became punctual, I realized.....

"Punctuality is the art of waiting for the careless people...!"

A Grammar Freak...

A grammar freak girl to her boyfriend:

"You are as useless as...
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AY in OKAY...!"

ALLAH per yaqeen

Pereshan hona insaan hone ki daleel hay laikin pereshan rehna insaan ka ALLAH per yaqeen na hone ki daleel hay.

Be Positive...

Thursday 19 January 2012

Moving backwards...

No one has ever won the game of chess by moving forward only, sometimes you have to move backward to get a better step forward.

3 Steps to attempt a paper...

1. Look UP for INSPIRATION...

2. Look DOWN for CONCENTRATION...

and then...

3. Look AROUND for INFORMATION...!


Maa Baap ke ehtaram ki misaal...

Aik bacha gali mein cricket khel raha tha. Os ne shot lagai aur os ke ghar ke window ka shesha toot gaya. Bachay ki ammi ne bahir aa kar os se kaha, "Beta aaram se"

Os waqt ke baad bache ne puri zindagi shaot nahi mari.....
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Aaj dunya osay "Misbah-Ul-Haq" ke naam se janti hay...!

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Sorry...

Its very easy to hurt someone and then say "Sorry"

BUT

It is extremely difficult to get hurt and say "It's ok I'm fine..."

Thursday 12 January 2012

The bedroom massacre...

Wife came home late at night and quietly opens the bedroom door. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two...!

She reaches for a baseball bat and then hitting on them, after beating she goes to the kitchen and sees her husband there, reading a magazine...!

"Hi Darling" he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bed...!!!"

more proof....???????

A woman was kidnapped.  The kidnapper cut off her finger and sent it to her husband and demanded money....

Husband replied: " I want more proof send me the TONGUE...!"

Wednesday 4 January 2012

Two nice Tips...

Two nice tips to stand strong in every condition:

1. Never take help of tears to show your emotions.

2. Never take help of words to show your anger.

Have A Good Day!

Meera and ATM

An ATM was jammed & not in working condition...

because



Meera put hair pin in machine when it was displayed on screen:


"Enter your PIN"

ooopppps!

The Most valuable places...

2 places are the most valuable in the world...

"The nicest place is to be someone's THOUGHTS

&

The safest place is to be in someone's PRAYERS..."

Have A Nice Day!

Monday 2 January 2012

Deer & Dear

To kill a deer , you need guns, knives, ropes and many people to help....



BUT


To kill a dear, you need just ignorance & silence...!