Who are Terrorists???????

Hitler killed about 20 Million people.
Joseph Stalin killed about 10.45 Million  people.
Mao Tsi Tsung killed about 10.40 Million people.
Maximum Robistiere killed about 4 Million people.

Interestingly they all were "NON-MUSLIMS"
Then can it be said that only Muslims are Terrorists or Extremists???????
History proves that Non-Muslims are the biggest killers of Humanity...!

Anders Behring Breivik of Norway recent example...!

Kya mile ga...

Kya mile ga dilon me nafrat rakh kar yaro..
Bari mukhtasir si hai ye zindagi Muskura ke mila karo..

Wife & Boss

In this world everybody makes mistakes and forgets!
But only Wife & Boss have the gifted talent of Finding, Remembering & Reminding theme...!

A sign at a petrol station..

A sign at a petrol station...

"Please don't smoke, your life may be worthless, But the Petrol is expensive...!"

Woman to a Dentist...

Woman to a Dentist: "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want anesthesia coz I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull it out as quickly as possible."

"You are a brave woman" says the Dentist, "Now show me which tooth it is?"

The woman turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth and show the Dentist which tooth it is dear"

"Bloody English"

Husband messages to wife on cell:

"Hi, What are you doing darling?"

Wife: "I'm dying"

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet heart how can I live without you?"

Wife: "You idiot I'm dying my hair..."

Husband: Bloody English...!

"Tera Bootha"

BV: Wo konsi cheez hai jo tum daily daikhte ho lakin tor nahi sakty?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Shohar: "Tera Bootha...!!!"

A soldier rushes to his captain...

A soldier rushes to his captain and says: "one enemy ship is approaching us."
Captain replies, " David! Go bring my Red Shirt."
Soldiers gets red shirt for his captain.Enemy ship comes in, heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the captain wins.
Soldier asks: "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?"
Captain replies: "If I got injured than my blood shouldn't be seen as I don't want my soldiers to lose hope."
Suddenly the soldier replied, "Sir, 20 enemy ships are coming."
Captain replied: "David! Go and bring my Yellow Trouser...!!!"

Faraz compitition

"FARAZ" ye kya ho gaya hai
Har dost ab kanjoos ho gaya hai
Koi nahi poochta haal-e-dil "MOHSIN"
Lagta hai unka zameer so gaya hai
Pehle to miss call de diya karte the "GHALIB"
Ab lagta hai mera number un se delete ho gaya hai
Is SMS ko parh ker agar aye msg "IQBAL"
To samajhna ke is nazam ka un per asar ho gaya hai
Aur agar na aye koi reply to samajh lena "WASI"
Dost ab tumhara Dheet ho gaya hai

Stress Test

Take this stress test by answering these 2 questions:

1. Which mouse has 2 legs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mickey Mouse!
.
.
.
.
.
.
2.Which duck has 2 legs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
If your answer is Donald Duck, you are under stress. Because all ducks have 2 legs...
So please relax and enjoy life...!

The sound of Niagara Falls

A Canadian tourist guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. This is the world's largest waterfall. The sound intensity of the waterfall is so high even 20 super sonic jets passing can't be heard."
?
?
?

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
"Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls...!"

A clay pot & golden pot

A clay pot containing milk will be ranked higher than a golden pot containing poison. Not our outer glamor but our inner virtues make us valuable.

Have A Nice Day!

No More Tears...

I wish every relationship comes with the same tag as Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo...

NO MORE TEARS...!

Best month to Marry...

1st Man: Which is the best month to get married?
2nd Man: Octumburary
1st man: Don't be silly, there is no such month.
2nd Man: Exactly...!

"Adhorey homework aur tootay khilone"

Jab chote the to baray hone ka bara shoq tha, par ab pata chala ke "Adhoray ehsas aur toote sapnon se Adhorey homework aur tootay khilone ache thay...!"

"Naai"

Girl: jab bhi main tumhain call karti hoon tum shave kar rahe hote ho. tum din mein kitni bar shave karte ho?
Boy: 30 se 40
Girl: Kya tum pagal ho?
Boy: Ni Chawlay main Naai waann..!

One evening at an Investment Seminar...

One evening at an Investment Seminar, a man spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man." he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I'll inherit $200 Million..."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three weeks later, "She became his Step Mother...!

Riddle????

I'm the beginning of the end...
You can see me twice in a decade...
but once in a year..
and not in a May but once in June..
and twice in a week...

answer this?????????????

When i was a child...

When i was a child mother sent me to the store with Rupees10 and I used to come back with 1 Kg Potato, Pack of Soap, Shampoo, 3 Milk Packs, Half a dozen eggs and a chocolate bag. You can't do that now due to too many "Security Cameras"...!!!

Have a good day!

7 Great qualities of a student

7 Great qualities of a student:

1. Consistency: Once a zero always a zero!
2. Voice Modulation: Attendance in five different voices!
3. Presentation Skills: Presenting one answer in five different questions!
4. Art: Designing classroom tables and walls!
5. Stamina: Tolerate teacher's lectures for five hours!
6. Peripheral Vision: Checking out everyone sitting behind!
7. Humanity: Failing and giving others a chance to top!

LOL!

The most expensive liquid...

The most expensive liquid is "TEARS" as it is made of 1% water and 99% "Feelings". So think twice before you hurt someone.

Have A Good Day!

SMS na karne walo ke liay song

Agar tum mil jao
To tangain torr dengay hum
Tumhain pa ke tumhare peechay kuttay chorr denge hum
Bus tum mil jaoooo...
To tangain torr denge hum..

The Shortest Joke!

Fan: Happy Birthday Meera!

Meera: Same To You!

Best three comedy lines...

Best three comedy lines in student life...!

1) Please don't disturb I want to study...!
2) No canteen, lets go to the library...!

and the best one is...
3) Sir, I have a Question...!

Wah re Pakistan...

Wah re Pakistan teri qismat..!

2nd Largest Salt Mine.

5th Largest Gold Mine.
2nd Largest Coal Reserves.
7th Largest Copper Mine.
Phir bhi IMF se bheek mangte hain!

2nd Largest Dam.
3 Nuclear Reactors.
5 Rivers.
Phir bhi har waqt light nahi hay!

6th Largest Army.
7th Nuclear Power.
One of the Strongest Army in the World.
Phir bhi Drone Attacks per Khamoshi!

7th Largest Rice Producer.
8th Largest Wheat Producer.
Phir itni Mahngai!

Reason????

Corrupt Leaders and Silent People!

Sardar Ji Proposes...

Sardar Ji Proposes a Woman
She says: "Yes, If you bring me a pair of Crocodile shoes. I will marry you."

He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search team finds him hunting crocodiles and watches him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks it's legs and angrily exclaims: "71st and again barefoot...!"

Life Means..

Life means...

"Missing expected things and facing unexpected things...!"

"Titanic's Lollywood Script"

Titanic's Lollywood Script:

In the End: Shan doesn't die and reaches the shore swimming across the ocean with Saima's hand in 1 hand and pulling "Titanic" with the other...!

A man who surrenders...

A man who surrenders when he's Wrong is Honest...
A man who surrenders when he's Not Sure is Wise...
A man who surrenders when he's Right is HUSBAND...!

1 Churail aur Mian Bivi

a Churail ne 60 saal ke shadi shuda juray se bola: "Mein tum dono ki a, a khuwahish puri kar sakti hoon."

Bivi: "Mein apne shohar ke sath sari duniya ki sair karna chati hoon."

Chrail ne jadoo ki chari ghumai aur do tickets a gay.

Phi shohar se pocha, :Tum kya chahte ho?"

Shohar: "Apne se 30 saal choti bivi ka khuwahishmand hoon."

Churail ne jadoo se usko "90 saal" ka kar diya.

Moral: Mardon ko yaad rakhna chahie ke churail bhi ek "Aurat" hoti hai.

This message is for all my friends...

This message is for all my friends who sent me best wishes in my life and prayed for my success...
?
?
?
?
?
?
Helloooooooooo...Guys...!!!
It's not working ....Send Some CASH...!!!

Have A Nice Day!

If Bill Gates stops his business...

If Bill Gates stops his business and starts spending his money by 10 Million / day he'll need 735 years to spend it...

BUT...........


He is still "WORKING"....!

Moral: **********???????

Galatiyan (Mistakes)

"Insan ki galatiyan use wo dars deti hain jo usay kisi dars gah se nahi mil sakta."

Translation in English: "Mistakes in life teaches a person what he can't learn at any school."

Sawan ne bhi kisi se....

Sawan ne bhi kisi se pyar kia tha
Us ne usy Badal ka naam dia tha
Rote the dono ek dusre ki judai mein
Aur logon ne usey Barish ka naam dia tha

Happy Rainy Season!

Marriages

Marriages may be made in Heaven...

BUT
The "Maintenance Charges" have to be paid on Earth...!

"MEERA - for trying to be over smart"

Angel: What do you want?

Boy: A beautiful girl...

Angel: If you are Muslim I'll give you Katrina...If you are hindu I'll give you Kareena...If you are christian I'll give you Angelina...What's your name?

Boy: "Sheikh Venod Fernandes"

Angel: give him "MEERA" - for trying to be over smart...!

"Dukaan"

Aik admi apne dost se: "Tera bhai aj kal kya kar raha hai?"
Dost: "Dukaan kholi thi per 6 mah se jail main hai"
Admi: "Wo kiun?
Dost: "Dukaan Hathoray se kholi thi...!"

"Vision"

A blind man once asked a wise man, "Can here be a thing worse than losing eye sight?"

"Yes" he replied,"Losing your Vision...!"

A recent joint study...?????

A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who just drink Tea, Coffee, Carbonated drinks, Juices, Yogurts, and shit like that...

Therefore, Beware of those who do not drink alcohol...they cause three times as many accidents...!!!

LOL...

Burqa aur wo bhi topi wala...

Newspaper main ishtihaar aya, "Hunare pas aisi product hai jisko pehan ker aap puri dunia ko dekh sakte hain magar apko koi nahi dekh sakta..Rs.10,000/= + Free Home Delivery.

Aik larki ne ishtihaar parhte hee Rs.10,000/= bheje. Kuch dino baad TCS wala aik packet le kar aya. Larki ne jaldi jaldi khola to andar se.... "BURQA" nikla aur wo bhi topi wala...!

Increase the Dose....LOVE

A wise Physician said, "I have been practicing medicine for 30 years and i have learned that the best medicine for the human creature is....LOVE!"
Someone asked, "it doesn't work?"
He smiled and replied, "Increase the Dose...!"

"Patience and Silence"

"Patience and Silence are powerful energies...
Patience makes you mentally strong...
Silence makes you emotionally strong..."

Stay Blessed...!

"A Touching Story..."

A Touching Story.

A little boy on his way home saw a cute puppy. He went near and touched it, again touched it and he touched it again.....

What a Touching Story...!

A beautiful sentence...

"We need everything Permanent in a Temporary Life..."

There was a King...

There was a King who had 1 eye and 1 leg. He asked all the painters to draw a beautiful portray of his but all of them were not ready to draw. As how come they show him beautiful with effects in 1 eye and leg. One of them agreed and drew a classic picture of that king. It was a fantastic picture and everyone was surprised. He painted the king aiming for a hunt targeting with "one eye closed and a leg bent for it."

Why can't we all paint others pictures like this. Hiding their weaknesses and highlighting their strengths...

ALLAH taught us to hide others weaknesses and HE will hide ours....

After a quarrel...

After a quarrel...
Wife to Husband: "I was a fool, idiot and rubbish that I married you..."
Husband (very politely): "Yes dear, but I was in Love. I didn't notice...!"

PEPSI ka add...

Afridi's Daughter: "Mummy dekho papa six per six maar rahe hain."
Afridi's Wife: "Beta theek se dekho PEPSI ka add hoga...!"

Why Husbands avoid questions...

Why Husbands avoid questions...
Wife: "Would your re-marry if i die?"
Husband: "Definitely Not!"
Wife: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
Husband: "Of course I do."
Wife: "Then why wouldn't you re-marry?"
Husband: "Ok Ok I'd get married again."

Wife: "So would you live in our house?"
Husband: "Sure, it is a great house."
Wife: "Would you let her take my jewlery?"
Husband: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
Wife: "Would she wear my shoes?"
Husband: " No her size is 7.......... "
.
.
(Silence)


"Shit!"

Mirasiyon ne AC lagwaya...

Mirasiyon ne AC lagwaya. Kisi ne poocha ke ap logon ko to sardi bohat lagti hai.

Mirasi: "Mola khush rakhe Putha lawaya ay sarkar! Garam wa andar te thandi bar...!"

A married man....

A married man written on the back of his car....

"Don't disturb, already very disturbed...!"

SIMPLE...????????????

Define a girl:
The 1 who before going out for a party puts on
mascara
eye shadow
eye liner
lip gloss
glitter
blush
kajal
wears the best dress
wild heals
accessories and still asks, " It isn't look over! Isn't it?"

Reply: "No No...Its OK"

Girl: "In such a hurry i didn't do anything...and i thought SIMPLE is better...!!!"

Ishq hai apne asulon pe azal se qayam...

Ishq hai apne asulon pe azal se qayam
Imtihaan jis ka bhi laita hai reayat nahi karta...!

"Acha Dost"

"Main ache waqt se ziada acha dost azeez rakhta hoon kiun ke acha dost acha waqt paida kar sakta hai magar acha waqt acha dost nahi...!"

Funny Ghazal

Jab se tum ko apna bana rakha hai
aisa lagta hai ke AC chala rakha hai
Dil to kab ka kisi ko de chuke hum
Aur tere leay gurda bacha rakha hai
Tu ne nazrain phair leen to kya hua
Hum ne bhi kisi aur se chakkar chala rakha hai
Ek aansu baha ke ehsaan karte ho
Hum ne aankhon mein nalka laga rakha hai...

Happy New Fiscal Year

May ALLAH keep you away from taxes in the coming year and keep you safe from inflation, unemployment, poverty, political factors, exchange rate crises, energy crises and brain drain.

What is Love?

Love is a mutual contract between two parties of any organization and an interpersonal relationship between them that provides law of marginal utility to control each others personal, physical, financial and mental state with an emotionally conscious strategy which leads to strong emotional partnership...!

Have A Good Day!