A man speaks 25000 words...

A man speaks 25000 words daily & a woman speaks 30000 words but problem starts when husband comes from office after consuming his 25000 words & wife starts her 30000.

Things often go wrong...

Every woman needs a husband because things often go wrong in life and you cannot always blame god or Govt. for everything...

Ashwarya's baby...

Doctor to Ashwarya's baby: Who is your grandfather...?

Baby: Big B...!!!

Doctor: Who is your mother?

Baby: Miss World...

Doctor: Who is your father...?

Baby: NO IDEA SIR JI...!!!

OOOOPPPSSSSS......

Indian TV

News on Indian TV:

"Water & presence of Whales & Sharks found on Moon by Indian Satellite....

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News on BBC:

"Satellite launched by India found in Arabian Sea....!

Lolz!

World's smallest resignation...

World's smallest, shortest resignation letter to boss:

Dear Sir,

                                         THOOO...


Thanks....

Problems & Friends

Its very nice to discuss problems with friends....Not because they will solve it but will give such stupid suggestions that you will laugh & forget the problems....!

Definition of Mathematics

An exact definition of Mathematics:

"Mathematics is the study of finding a black cat in a dark room when there is no cat....
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You have to Suppose...!

Romance in Urdu & English

Sometimes things look so romantic in Urdu:

"Mai kho gaya hum tere pyar main. Ab tum bhi kho jao.................."

Now try it in English:

"I'm lost in your Love, Now you GET LOST...!"

LAYS....Ingredients....

Dear LAYS chips manufacturer, You forgot to list one thing under the ingredients....
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AIR ....85%...!

Bitter Truth...

In bed its 6am, if you close your eyes for 5 minutes, its 7:45

but

in a lecture its 9:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and its STILL 9:30...!

Nice Definitions...

Classic:
A book which people praise but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life...!

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth...!

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do...!

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together...!

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes...!

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions...!

Father:
A banker provided by nature...!

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip...!

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls in to river...!

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says midway "See I am not injured yet...!"


Have a good day...

When ALLAH leads you...

When ALLAH leads you to the edge of difficulty, "Trust HIM Fully"

Either HE will catch you when you fall or HE will teach you how to fly.

Graham Bell & WIFE

When Graham Bell invented the phone......
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he saw that there were already 2 missed calls from his WIFE....!

Bachey jhoot nahi bolte..... Loadshedding.....

Kehte hain "bache kabhi jhoot nahi bolte....
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Magar
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1 gadhay ka bacha har saal kehta hai ke "Iss saal load shedding khatam ho jaey gi..."

Hats off to women...

Drunk men talk unnecessarily, become emotional, drive badly, stop thinking & fight for no reason.
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Hats off to women who do all this without alcohol!!! 

TODAY....TOMORROW

Every king was once a crying baby & Every great building was once a map....Its not important where you are TODAY but where you'll reach TOMORROW is important...!

No Sorry No Thanks....

People say that No Sorry and Thanks in friendship or in a relationship but.............Experience say that these two words save the relations....!

Value of a DOT...

A girl stood first in class with A1 marks in B.Ed. Exam.

Her excited Boy Friend sent SMS to her Father:

"Your daughter is A1 in BEd....!"

Criteria for Life Partner...

MALE criteria for life partner:
They expect their woman to look like Miss Universe & ....Work like .......Massi Barkatay...!

FEMALE criteria for life partner:
They expect their man to look like Mr. Universe, Earn like Bill gates & obey like RAMU KAKA...!

Google...a girl or a boy???????

Teacher: Google is a girl or a boy?
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Student: Google is a girl, because it won't let you complete the whole sentence and start guessing...! and you ask only one question....but get hundreds of answers in seconds.....!!!

Intelligent wife...........

An intelligent wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can't afford another...
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woman....!

Defining a LECTURER....

Teacher: Can you define who is Lecturer?

Student:

A person who has a very bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping....!!!

Faith on ALLAH

Only struggle provides you the chance of success...!

But addition of Faith on ALLAH converts this chance in to guarantee...!

Open your books....highly professionals

Open your books, keep your mobile phone off and start studying....
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The above stunt is performed by highly professionals. Please Don't Try this at Home....!

Happy Exam Season

Law of Equality....

The time taken by a wife when she says,

"I'll get ready in 5 minutes..."

is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says,

"I'll call you in 5 minutes...!"

Risk.....?????????

A man got a telegram ... Your wife is dead. Should we burn the body or bury it?
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Man replied:

"Do not take any RISK. Burn the body and bury the ash...!"

Electing PPP..........another kick in the balls??????

For years Men & Women have argued that what is more painful being kicked in the balls or giving birth?

Put it this way. After a couple's 1st child a woman will usually say, "Let's have a baby again..."

But

You'll never find a single man on earth ever saying, "OK...Kick my balls again...!"

Joke ended.


But we've another point to make in the light of our political scenario:

Electing PPP again will literally mean asking for "another kick in the balls....!"

Sach kahoon to mujh ko....

Sach kahoon to mujh ko yeh unwaan bura lagta hai

Zulm sehta hua insaan bura lagta hai

Kis qadar ho gai masroof yeh dunya apni

Ek din thehre mehmaan bura lagta hai

Mere ALLAH meri naslon ko zillat se nikaal

Itni zillat mein "Musalmaan" bura lagta hai

(Aameen)

Best from School times...

If you have ever used one WHOLE eraser completely...without losing it.

Seriously.... I Salute You...!

To all the married people

Specially dedicated to all the married people:

We are all in the same game just different levels...Dealing with the same hell, just with different Devils...!

Dear Computer User...!

Dear Computer User!

I do appreciate your kind attitude towards the keys of keyboard BUT one question....

Why do you press all keys softly and hit ME with all your power......??????

Yours sincerely,

ENTER Key!

My Life means...

My life means a lot to me! Not because I love my life. But because I love the people in my life...The universe calls them Friends, I call them My Universe...!

to make sure....

Man was sent on earth to suffer..........Woman was sent to make sure it happened...!

The Best Excuse...!

The best excuse given by a lady for a casual leave on Monday,

"My husband took the overdose of Viagra on weekend so I couldn't leave him alone with Massi (Maid)...!" 

When you feel lonely...

When you feel lonely...don't get upset. Just close your eyes  and say:

"Dear ALLAH why did you created me so precious that nobody can afford me..."